Hold Me Tight
by laela24
Summary: Sequel To Stay. It's been three years, will chance encounters be enough to mend Lilly's shattered soul? Or will life prove to crush her forever? Eventual Liley. WARNING: drug abuse and sexual content!
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER:** I OWN NOTHING!!

**AN: **Okay, all I can say is WOW! thank you so much to all those who reviewed the prequel to this story, Stay, you guys all rock and to show appreciation for your support I've decided to do something I've NEVER been good at and give you a sequel. I hope that you all enjoy this just as much and leave me some love in each chapter!!

--x--

**Malibu, 2010**

_"You sure this is what you want, Lillypad? You know I love you but I just wanna make sure you understand... New York is so far,"Heather Truscott explained to Lilly as she packed up her last box into the small black Honda Accord._

_"Mom, you know I cant stay here, I have to get away from... everything for a while, it'll be good for me,"Lilly replied, turning to her mother, her only family she really had left._

_"I know, baby, but you know, Malibu is all you've ever known-"_

_"And it will always be home... but I just cant stay here any longer,"Lilly replied, guiltily._

_"Have you told them you were leaving a week early?"Heather asked, knowingly. Lilly looked at the ground, suddenly finding her converses quite interesting. "You cant hide from her forever, Lilly, change of address and your phone number wont keep her away, she'll find you eventually."_

_"Hopefully she'll take a hint and just let it be, just forget about me altogether, it'll be better that way,"Lilly quipped, defeated. Heather stepped closer to her daughter and placed two fingers beneath her chin._

_"Better for who? Her or you?"Heather responded._

_"For everyone,"Lilly's beautitful aquamarine eyes darkened to a stormy grey as her spirit died with the rev of the car engine as she kissed her mother goodbye and headed out of California and onto a new life on the other side of the continent, far from everything and everyone she'd ever known, far away from her sweet misery._

_"Goodbye Miley,"Lilly whispered into the morning air as the wind whipped through her bangs and she reached City Limits._

--x--

**New York, Present Day**

_Lilly P.O.V._

I slammed the door to my small one-room apartment as I finished yet another grueling day at the studio. I turned on the three faced lamp next to my leather sofa/bed in front of the large windows facing the rest of Tent City, I placed my six pack in the fridge that had a few containers of outdated takeout and condiment jars, I tossed my keys and wallet onto my small table near the couch and plugged my cell phone in, I turned it on and noticed three missed calls, without bothering to look I dialed my voicemail and put it on speaker as I began stripping out of my clothes and listening to the messages.

"_Lil, its Jill, this is the fifth time I've called you and failed to reach you so I guess we're no longer speaking... or together so whatev'- End of message one-_"I hit the button to erase it.

"Maybe next time you'll learn after the first try- I dont do relationships,"I grumbled as I turned the shower on and let it warm up.

"_Lillian, its Mom, are you screening your calls again? Well anyway, I know you have vacation coming up and I'm hoping you wont mind coming down for a visit? I really would love to see my daughter for my birthday, I love you sweetie, are you still sleeping with your boss? You know that isnt- well anyway, call me! - End of message two-"_

"Reminder to self, never let a one-night stand happen here again because mom WILL find out about it!"I growled as I tested the water again. Perfect. I hopped into the shower and strained my ears to listen to my last message.

"_Hey babe, its Erin- so Kelly called me up and she and her new slut are wanting to get up tommorow for brunch, and I was hoping you'd be my date? You said you owed me well I'm calling it in and if you do this I will owe you DOUBLE, so pleaaaaaase call me back, see ya sweetcheeks muah! - End of all messages._"

I rolled my eyes, Erin Reynolds was the girl, or rather, young woman, that lived a floor below. She was literally my first New York friend, even helped me move in and showed me around some of the hot spots to pick up dates, claiming me to be her "lesbian sister she never had," she was a bartender at the Cat Scratch Club which was basically a strip joint where I found many great reasons to keep my mind off of every reason why I left Malibu, not to mention she gave me a couple free drinks now and then. Erin literally became a savior to me, introducing me to several of my one-night standers, and the party life where I met highs and lows that helped drown my sorrows and brighten my spirits, giving me the sweet release from reality that I felt daily when I was sober. I'd dropped out of NYU about a good year and a half after moving to New York, instead finding myself a great freelance photographer for several modelling agencies, magazines and even public schools now and then, it wasn't exactly how I'd planned it, but then again, plans never worked out the way I wanted them to anyway. My mother hadn't been pleased when she discovered that I'd left school to just live and work daily in the Big Apple, she'd even gone as far as to come up here and try to talk me back into furthering my education, but I had all that I needed as it was, a roof over my head, money in the bank, jobs calling left and right, and a great set of friends who wouldnt mind putting me up for a while if I ever needed it.

And of course my mom, being the cool woman she was, worried for a bit until I proved to her that I was most deffinitely able to take care of myself, and at twenty-two years, she didn't argue, instead just telling me to come home every once and a while and not forget my roots. I'm so glad I have a loving caring person like her in my life. Speaking of her, it was true, her birthday was coming up here in about a week, and I'd completely forgotten with all these projects. I shut the water off as I noticed it was getting cold and reminded myself to yell at my landlord later for not giving the building enough of a water boiler, and I dried myself off and slipped into my nightshirt and pajama pants, I grabbed a beer from the fridge and tossed my clothes onto my ever-growing pile that I'd get to later and plopped down on the sofa with a pizza box that had a few slices of pepperoni mushroom left and I dialed the familiar number on my phone.

"_Hey sexy,_"came the seductive voice.

"You know you are gonna answer like that one day and its not gonna be me or any other of your little friends,"I retorted with a smile as I chowed down on the pizza.

"_Yeah, well, it sure as Hell isnt my father or my no-good sister callin, so I aint got nothin to worry about, anyway, you get my message?_"

"Yeah, what time? I got laundry to start on and I need to go down and buy me some things for a road trip-"

"_Road trip?! Honey you never told me you were planning one! Who's the lucky gal your goin to see now?_"Erin joked, I rolled my eyes.

"My mother, her birthday's next week,"I finished a second slice and guzzled the can of beer down with it.

"_Aw, you're too sweet, I take it I'm not invited to this little gathering?_"I could almost see Erin pouting.

"You know that my mom isn't fond of my bringing home girls, Erin-"I half-lied.

"_Bullshit, your mother just doesnt like me because she caught me in the act,_"Erin saw right through me, as usual, I laughed. Sometimes she reminded me so much of- _No, stop, dont even go there, Truscott, you dont need heartache tonight._ "_Stop torturing yourself like you always do, Lil and fucking say you'll go with me? I dont wanna be alone round Kelly and Andrea,_"Erin snapped me from my daze.

"Kelly is back with her? Ugh, what a whore,"I groaned popping another can of beer.

"_Are you drinkin up there and not even bothering to invite me over? Shame, shame I thought I taught you better,_"Erin joked.

"Not tonight, I just wanna finish this and go to sleep so I can get up and yes I'll go, but I cant promise I'll stay-"

"_Thank you, thank you, thank you!! Oh I love you-_"Erin squeeled. I held the phone away from my ear.

"I know you do, now bye!"Erin laughed and the phone line went dead.

I rolled my eyes again and snapped my phone shut after making sure my alarm was on, I tossed the pizza box in the trash and finished my second beer before locking my door and climbing back onto the couch, comfortably sedated by the buzz of alcohol, I tossed my comforter over my waist and snuggled into my pillow, before shutting my eyes I rolled over into the couch, facing the back and dug my hands between the cushions, when my hand came in contact with a sharp point, I grabbed the envelope and pulled it out, it was a small pink envelope, although in the darkness you couldn't tell, but I've held this envelope so much that I knew by heart every line and crinkle and small tear, I opened the slot and pulled out a small stack of photographs. Sent from my mother at my request in a moment of weakness she sent me these photos of myself and Miley Stewart, my once best friend and the love of my life, now probably married to my once oldest friend, Oliver Oken. I swallowed the lump in my throat and I held up the photos a bit so the streetlights would hit and let me see better, the first photograph was of Miley and I when Miley first moved the Malibu, it was taken in the schoolyard at Seaview Middle School, Oliver had taken the picture and it had me and Miley, just outside the front, my arm wrapped around her shoulders, Miley's arm around my waist, both of us smiling at the camera, we were so young, yet I knew even then that I'd loved her from the moment I'd laid eyes on her when she came into Mr. Gunthers Homeroom class, I flipped through the photos for a moment until I came to my favorite one.

It was taken on the beach summer after freshman year, I'd just gotten out of the water and I'd come upto Miley, who'd been sunbathing and she had said something along the lines of..

"_Hey, move it Truscott, you're blockin my tan!_"_Miley joked._

_"Really, Stewart? Dontcha know that tannin gives you wrinkles?"I quipped back._

_"I dont care, just move your butt!"she laughed._

At that point, I tackled her laughing, she had screamed playfully "WET DOG! WET DOG!" as I smeared the salty droplets of Ocean water onto her, I remember it feeling so good as I wrapped my arms around her bare waist, refusing to let go and I laughed into her neck, my hair everywhere as she tried her best to break free. Jackson had snapped the shot soon after we'd started the little tickle fight, Miley was on her back in the sand, her sun hat had fallen, letting her wild curls loose, her eyes shaded by large white sunglasses, her head back as she let out a laugh, her pink bikini spotted with sand and water as I layed on top of her my face half-hidden by her face as I laughed into her neck, my fingers grasping her waist in her most ticklish area, covered in wet sand. The beach in the background, the sunlight hit the camera in just the right way leaving those orange-ish gold sunspots in the photo. It was my favorite photo of us, I remember Erin catching me with it once when we'd just finished, well, you know, and she woke up and noticed the tear marks on my cheeks.

_"Is this your ex-girlfriend or something?"Erin asked, looking at the picture. I shook my head._

_"No, she was my best friend,"I answered._

_"You two seemed happy, what happened?"_

_"She began dating our other friend, Oliver, before our senior year... I kinda just became a third wheel-"_

_"Did she know?"I furrowed my brow in confusion._

_"Know what?"_

_"That you were in love with her?"Erin acknowleged._

_"How-?"_

_"I had a friend in school, long way back... Ginger. She and I were closer than sisters, and... I fell in love with her-"Erin's hazel eyes darkened in the memory._

_"What happened?"I pried._

_"She found out about me, and well- she just stopped talking to me, her father got a job offer in another state and they moved a couple months later- I never saw her again,"tears began to cloud her eyes and she turned away, blinking furiously._

_"I'm sor-"she silenced me with a rough kiss._

_"Dont. Dont ever apologize, love is something you never apologize for, do you understand?"she snapped, hurt ringing in her voice. I nodded. "Falling in love is something nobody can control, it just happens, and you cant stop it, just like the tide, forever moving, forever changing, never ending, love should never be wrong-" I could almost feel her heart pounding against my own and I felt her pain. "This girl, whoever she is, should be lucky if anything else, to know she has someone like you to love her that much, we should all be so lucky."_

Erin and I were never together, in fact I'd never held a serious relationship with any of the women I hooked up with, they were just escapes, somebody to help keep my bed warm for the night when the darkness of being alone became too unbearable. Erin, however, unlike most of my one-night stands, was my best friend, when we were together, it was rough, and very physical, never slow, soft or sweet, it was passionate and daring, we were each others drug, we used one another for our own benefits, for our own highs. And we were both fine with it, we agreed from the beginning we would never have strings attatched, she had her life, I had mine.

After looking at a few more pictures, I put them away and kissed the envelope, before tucking it back into the cushions and then falling into a mindless slumber.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, sooo first chapter done! Next chapter anyone? Review, tell me what you thought, and if you want more! FEED THE BARD! -XLJBard


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer still stands!!**

**AN:** You guys rock my world!! If it wasn't for you I wouldnt be writing, so please continue to review, and enjoy this next chapter!

--x--

The sound of my door being banged on repeatedly alerted me that I must have missed my alarm and I glanced up to see my phone dead because I forgot to put it back on its charger the night previous. Blinking, I hooked it in and turned it back on to see that it was almost eleven.

"Shit-"I grumbled.

"Lil!"the door banged again. "I know you're in there, open up!" Suddenly I heard the door being fumbled with and a key inserted and I growled as I rolled out of the couch and landed on the floor, my feet tangled into my comforter and my hair fell out of its bun and framed around my face, blocking my view as Erin shut my front door and walked around my coffee table and tut-tutted.

"Sheesh, someone really _did_ wake up on the wrong side, I've tried calling you four times, girl, what happened?"I felt her help me stand back up as I straightened up my sofa bed.

"Phone died-"I mumbled, tossing my hair out of my face.

I wordlessly went to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for the day, I changed into a pair of stonewashed hiphugging jeans and a form fitting green top with a faded white electric guitar printed on the front, I pulled my hair back into a ponytail and put my contacts in. When I came out I noticed Erin standing in my kitchen area, scrounging in the cabinets, wearing a pair of plaid board shorts and a red tank top that read _Looking Is Free But Touching Will Cost You_. Her shaggy brown hair falling into her hazel eyes,

"Well goodmorning,"Erin noticed, and smirked, flaunting her ass for good measure.

"God, could you be any nosier?"I asked, joking as she raided the fridge.

"Please, you do the same in my apartment, damn girl, you have GOT to clean this thing out, ooh, is this light beer? Ugh, nope,"she tossed the can back into the holder.

"You know I dont drink light beer, its revolting,"I looked under the cabinets and grabbed three trashbags. I headed over to my small laundry bin and began seperating darks, mediums and lights. "Do something useful, find my detergent will ya?"

"Touchy, this morning are we? C'mon toots, we gotta meet Kelly and Andrea at Minnie's in half an hour,"Erin said, plopping the box of detergent next to me as I finished tying my bags up. I rolled my eyes.

"Minnie's? Ugh, why am I doing this again?"I quipped grabbing my wallet, phone, keys and shades. She helped by grabbing one of my bags and the detergent and following me out.

I tossed the bags of laundry into the back of the Thing. The Thing was an old fashioned Army Hummer, once a puke green, now painted black, it wasn't like those new fancy ass hummers you see in the commercial, this was literally a Thing, as Erin so lovingly called it, a piece of crap that I found in the junkyard after I wrecked my old Honda and I couldn't afford anything new, the Thing wasn't too bad, despite that it often gave me trouble starting, it wasn't a gas guzzler and it certainly got me from point A to point B, with a pull down hood a large steel grill tacked to the front, a built in CD player, and a radio to keep a listen to where cops were staked out, and a large bumper sticker that reads 'ASS. GAS. OR GRASS. NOBODY RIDES FOR FREE'. I pulled the hood down and hopped into the drivers side. Erin pulled out her Marlboro reds and lit one up,

"You gonna offer one to me?"I joked. She chuckled and handed me one then lit it while I started the engine.

"I thought you were trying to quit?"she asked.

"I did,"I blew out the toxic smoke as I put the Thing in drive and took off, it gave me a few kickstarts and the engine backfired as I parked it in front of Minnie's Diner on Second.

--x--

"You know, ya didn't have to be a complete bitch, I would have understood,"Erin said as she lit another cigarette after we exited the laundro-mat, my clothes now clean and my detergent gone.

"What did you expect me to do? Andrea was practically undressing me with her eyes-"I snapped.

"So you should have taken her home and rocked her world for the night,"Erin chuckled, taking another puff on her cancer stick.

"I dont sleep with women who are tied down,"I glowered, tossing the single back of laundry into the Thing.

"Bullshit, what about Tammy?"Erin pried as she began rolling a joint.

"Your point?"I tried to start the Thing, the engine backfired again and once more before finally revving to life.

"And Joan? And Mikaela and Riley and-"

"Alright! I get it! Andrea is a woman looking for a relationship, thats why she's with Kelly, I'm not a one-girl kinda gal,"I said, pushing some of my hair out of my face as it whipped in the wind.

"Uh huh, more like you're only in it for the relationship if its _that_ one girl,"she pointed to my dashboard where I had stuck a small photograph of myself, Miley and Oliver over the battery and oil gauge.

"Shut up, Erin,"I growled and stole the joint from her ear and she just shrugged as I lit up, puffing the toxic fumes and holding it in, allowing my brain to become fuzzy as I concentrated on the roads home, allowing my lungs to feel the burn to keep the demons that were crawling upto the surface, away. I blew out and released them, _I cant think about her, I wont think about her._

I breathed in another hit, finishing the joint as I parked in front of my building and passed it to Erin, there were people walking along the streets as the sun began to set but nobody really cared, it wasn't a huge deal to smoke pot in New York, at least I wasn't hitting a needle or snorting crack. I allowed my lungs to burn again, feeling my world around me dim and I breathed it out, almost laughing, at what, I couldn't tell you, but it seemed like life was a huge joke and I just kept becoming the victim. I grabbed my keys and headed inside, I opened my door and turned to say goodnight to Erin but I soon found myself pushed back against a wall, soft lips crashing onto mine and a tongue forced down my throat as Erin pressed into me, I moaned, dropping my keys on the counter, I hopped up and wrapped my legs around her waist, she gripped my ass and I pressed further into her, groaning almost animal-like at the pressure being put exactly where I needed it.

I dont remember if she closed the door as I kicked my shoes off. I dont remember if I even bothered to get my laundry as we began ripping our clothes off each others bodies. I dont remember locking my apartment as her tongue trailed down my body, making me hot with want, and need, pressed into the couch, my eyes rolled back as I gave myself over to ecstacy. The only thing I could remember before I passed out from the pleasure, was the name rolling off of my tongue, whispered into my moans,

"Miley."

--x--

I awoke to the sound of sirens down the street on my apartment floor, alone and cold, sheets wrapped around my naked torso, my hair a mess, my head throbbing, I groaned as I opened my eyes, blinking against the harsh daylight streaming in from my large window. I rolled over and my face hit a note I lifted my head and read the familiar writing...

_You may not have rocked her world but you sure did mine, Thanks for the night,_

_I left ya some advil and water on your table, take it and call me later_

_-Erin_.

I looked up and noticed the said pills and glass and I downed the pills and drank, hoping that my head would stop hurting so much, then again, it was better to feel the physical pain than the emotional, I got up and placed my sheets back on my bed before dialing my VoiceMail and turning on the shower, straining my ears to hear the messages over the running water.

"_Lillian? It's Mom again, listen, if I dont hear back from you within another day I will come up there and find you, then again you always did love making me worry, call me sweetie, bye- End of message one._" I shook my head and winced as pain shot through it, I began shampooing my hair.

"_Lil, its Gina, listen I know you hate being bothered on your day off but I need you to come by the studio for a few minutes to help, that new girl Sarah is terrible and I just dont wanna fire her, so when you get this hurry up and get down here and help out, I promise to make it worth your while! -End of messages._" I rolled my eyes beneath the lids as I rinsed my hair and body. Gina couldn't help but call me almost everytime I had a day off, possibly because I was the best damn photographer she had and she went nuts without me. Either way, I shut the water off and dried before stepping into a pair of my khaki work slacks and a sleeveless white top. I left my hair down and spent almost twenty minutes trying to locate my keys before I started up the Thing and headed down to the studio.

An hour later I was finished helping with paperwork and re-training Sarah and I headed down to the market to buy some new condiments for my fridge, detergent, a card and a bottle of my mothers favorite perfume, and a new road map, my other one had been used so much on trips to other women's houses that I'd litterally go cross-eyed trying to find the right route to map out a way home. I came back and decided to clean up a bit around my apartment, I hit my phonebook and paused at 'Mom' to look at the name under. Miley's number was listed right below, and Oliver's not too far after, I had changed my number to that of a New York residential before I left Malibu, however, I had not gotten rid of Miley nor Oliver's numbers, despite that they probably weren't the same anymore, I didn't want to be surprised if they called and I answered without knowing who it was. Although by now I knew better, it had been almost three years since I left and heard nothing from either, not that I'd made it easy, my mother had called me telling me how both of them had been trying very hard to persuade her to tell them where I went, I had made my mother swear to me that she would not tell them where I was, both of them believing I'd gone to school in Seattle. I dont think even today I could face either of them, not after what I did, goodness knows I loved them, and I loved Miley like no tommorow, but seeing them together, my heart just couldn't break anymore, and I certainly couldn't put up a front for them that I was happy.

I didn't even notice I was crying until I saw the tear hit my phone screen and I snapped it shut, putting it back on its charger, I hurried over to the fridge and popped open a beer, I downed it in three large gulps, feeling the burn trickle into my stomach, I downed another, then another, anything I could do to stop me from remembering her. I reached for my phone again,

"_Hey se-_"

"Get up here, now,"I ordered and snapped my phone shut. Moments later my door was opened and I threw myself at Erin, kissing her roughly. She didn't dare question me, she just let it happen, shutting my door behind her we didn't make it to the couch, instead, clawing at one another, we did it on the kitchen floor.

--x--

I woke to pounding in my head, and I groaned, I was on my couch, with nothing but a sheet wrapped around me, my face half-buried into the pillow.

"Evening, sleepyhead,"Erin walked over, in nothing but her shirt and underwear, carrying a glass filled with what looked like tomato juice. "A little hair of the dog that bit you, just dont ask whats in it,"she handed it to me.

I took a sip and immediately gagged, choking as I coughed and sputtered. "Finish it, c'mon,"she held the glass up and I half-glowered, half-winced as I downed the glass of the disgusting liquid, it wasn't alcohol, but I did taste just a bit of beer.

"What the hell?"I coughed.

"Old family recipe, cure for hangovers- better than pills, I used to make it for the asshole-"she referred to her father as an asshole, long story short, she told me how he would beat the hell out of her and how he nearly killed her when she came out.

"Well it sucks, I'd rather have the headache,"I moaned, falling back onto my pillow, shutting my eyes.

"Well, you need to be able to see straight if you're planning to leave tonight,"Erin said. My eyes popped open, and so did my mouth,"your mother called, I told her you slept in and that you were planning to come see her so not to worry. I figured thats why you had your bags out anyway,"she pointed to the large leather case that had some of my clothes, I nodded.

"Thanks,"I whispered, hoarsely.

"Anytime, babe, but I need to know, what the hell just happened a few hours ago?"she asked.

"I just... needed to forget,"I answered half-honest. Erin nodded.

"Good enough, listen I gotta get back downstairs and feed Milo, but you wait til your ready and then get your ass in the Thing and have a safe drive to California, alright?"she kissed my forehead.

"Mmm,"I murmured, I felt the couch shift as she got up and began walking to the door. "Erin-"

"Ya?"she called back.

"Love you,"I winked. She lifted her head back and laughed.

"You too, babe, call me when you're there, alright?"she shut the door behind her.

--x--

Six hours later I was well on my way out of New York, headed for sunny California, I hadn't called my mom up yet, deciding that I'd surprise her. I pulled out my CD case from the glove compartment and flipped through them, I paused when I came across an old one that Theresa, a girl I worked with a while back, had given me, it was a mix, I popped it in and smiled when the sounds of a guitar strumming vibrated through my speakers and I turned my radio up as Joni Mitchel's voice came through and I sang along as I watched the sun come up over the Rockies.

"_You're in my blood like holy wine_

_You taste so bitter and so sweet oh,_

_I could drink a case of you,_

_and I would still be on my feet, oh_

_darlin I'd still be on my feet..._"

I laughed at the irony of the lyrics, how honest, and yet, how different. I never had a great singing voice, but I belted out loud to most of the songs in the CD, enjoying the freedom of just letting it all out, music had a way of calming me more than the alcohol, pot or cigarettes.

I stopped to get some gas and I reached into my viser and a note fell out with a Marlboro cigarette, I smiled as I unfolded it and noticed the handwriting.

_Drive responsibly and smoke wisely, have fun in Malibu, babe!_

_-Erin_.

I shook my head as I lit up and I looked at my viser where a picture of myself and Erin sat in the billfold, taken about a month after I moved into my apartment, Erin's hair was a bit longer, reaching her shoulders, and she sat upon the hood of the Thing, I stood in front of her, between her legs and she had her arms wrapped around my shoulders, her head on mine, kissing the crown of my hair while smiling at the camera. She was an amazing friend.

I reached California right as the sky began to lighten and I watched the sun rise over the Pacific Ocean, I let my hair down from my bun and breathed in the deep salt air, realizing just how much I really had missed Malibu. I pulled into my driveway, quietly as I could and I silently thanked the Thing when it didnt backfire as I turned off the engine and hopped out, shouldering my bag and fumbling for the right key, I quietly opened the door, my mother would most deffinitely still be asleep and I smiled at the familiar sounds of the cuckoo clock that silently ticked as the pendelum swung, I tiptoed up the stairs in the quiet house, I stopped at the door that still had my old hand painted sign that read 'Lilly's Room! No Parents or Boys allowed!' and I opened it to find that everything had been stored away neatly, my bed perfectly made, posters still on the wall, it was perfectly still, I slid out of my shoes and placed my bag on the bed along with my patched jean jacket before I crept down the hall and opened the door to my mothers room.

I smiled at the sight of my mom, curled up beneath her flower comforter, sleeping on the right side of the bed, turned to the left, blonde hair splashed out behind her on the pillow, I pulled the covers back gently and slid into the bed, hardly containing my smile as I curled up on the left side, I took my index finger, my blue fingernail standing out against my pale skin and I gently traced the line of her nose, once, twice, three times is a charm as her groggy blue eyes opened and she realized who was disturbing her sleep. She smiled.

"Hey,"she whispered sleepily.

"Hey yourself,"I answered. She wrapped her arm around my waist and pulled me closer, kissing my forehead as we both closed our eyes.

"Welcome home, baby,"was the last thing I remembered before I dozed off into a sober, and very peaceful slumber.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, so, another chapter gone!! I feel like I'm on a roll, what do ya'll think?? Lemme know! More reviews, the faster chapters come!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer still stands!!**

--x--

It wasn't until around two in the afternoon that I became conscious of my surroundings, alone in my mothers bed, I turned into my pillow and caught the familiar and very comforting scent of my mothers shampoo, I got up and headed back to my bedroom, grabbing a spare change of clothes that my mom had unpacked for me, I headed into the bathroom and took a nice, long hot shower. I dialed my voicemail when I got out and listened to Erin complain about not hearing from me and then another of her apologizing and hoping I enjoyed the cigarette, I almost laughed at this, realizing that I forgot my mothers not knowing that I smoke and I decided I'd go pick up a pack later and hide them in my car. But as I opened my bedroom window to the sound of seagulls, crashing waves and friendly people instead of sirens and gunfire and toxic city air, I figured I probably wouldn't need them as badly here. As I got downstairs I kissed my mom on the cheek as she stood at the stove making pancakes.

"What're you doing making breakfast at this hour?"I ogled, raiding her fridge, seeing no alcohol, I prayed that I wouldn't need any of that either and settled on a Pepsi instead.

"You've never heard of brunch? Honestly, Lillypad,"she tapped my forehead with her index finger and I crossed my eyes to make her laugh.

The house phone rang and I almost jumped, not used to having one in my apartment, I picked it up for her while she tried to keep the batter in place and answered,

"City morgue, you kill 'em, we chill 'em,"my mother scoffed at my rude answer. I laughed,"Truscott speaking,"

"Lilly?"a male voice asked, I didn't recognize it that well over the phone.

"Yes?"I answered, carefully.

"I didn't know you were home, er- its Jackson, you know, Miley's brother?"my blood ran cold and my mother must've noticed the color drain from my face because she took the phone.

"This is Heather...oh hey, Jackson, yes, yes I'm still having it, three hamburger-bacon pizzas? My goodness, okay, yeah, she just arrived in this morning, I'll ask her-"she placed her hand over the reciever and looked to me, I had sat down at the bar and tried to get my wits back, I'd forgotten that Jackson and Robbie Ray still lived in Malibu, it had shocked me to hear from him, not that I had anything against Jackson, but I know that he and Miley had grown closer and I didn't want her finding out I was home.

"Jackson and Robbie are holding a small party for me at their place, Friday, you wanna go?"my mother asked.

"I'll think about it,"I answered.

"She said she'd see, I dont know. We may just do something small here, she might have to head back up to N-"I waved my hands frantically to stop her from telling him. "Anywhere else! Yes, thats it, okay, well have a good one, thank you, Jackson, bye." I breathed a sigh of relief. "Sorry about that, it almost slipped my mind-"

"Well try not to let on, alright? I dont want anyone knowing where I'm at-"

"You still haven't talked to her, have you?"my mother asked, sadly.

"Mom-"she held up her hand to silence me, she walked out of the room.

A few moments later she returned, holding a medium-sized blue box, she handed it to me. I looked at her quizzically as I took it. I opened the box and saw a long, almost never-ending stack of letters, all addressed to me, and some to my mother,

"She wrote every day for about a year,"I looked up at her. My mother's sky blue eyes seemed to darken with the understanding pain. "I know she hurt you, baby, but she never intended too, she and Oliver tried for a long time to get me to open up, somehow figure out where you'd gone, Miley even flew to Seattle to try and find you before they left for Harvard, they didn't understand, and after a while, I didn't either."

"Mom.. I just- I cant face them together, they're happy, they have each other, they dont need me,"I said, slowly and quietly.

"But you need her,"my mother whispered, returning to her pancakes. I looked at the letters addressed to my mom, seeing they were opened, I opened the first one that seemed the oldest. I felt the tears sting my eyes at the handwriting, remembering her loopy scrawl,

_Mrs. Truscott,_

_I know that you love Lilly, and you'd do anything to protect her from harm, being your only daughter_

_but I'm going out of my mind with worry, you tell me she's fine, she's alright and doing well, but its _

_not enough. It's not enough to hear it from her herself, I miss her so much, she is my best friend. I hope_

_that I'd never asked much of you, but I implore you, no I beg you, please, tell her to call me? Write me?_

_Anything. Even if its just to hear her tell me she never wants to see me again, I just need to hear it from_

_her. I never wanted to hurt Lilly, and I dont know what I've done to hurt her, but it must be bad._

_Please, if you hear from her, tell her to reach me? Will you tell her we miss her?_

_Tell her I miss her?_

_Love from,_

_Miley Stewart._

I took the box and grabbed my keys and phone and walked out of the door. I thought about driving but I decided I would be better off just walking, so I walked. The familiar path along the sand that took me straight to the waters edge of the beach. The waves were pretty calm today, splashing one after the other against the shoreline, I avoided the small crowd of people and headed over to my favorite spot on the rocks where I could hear the waves lap beneath me, I let the salty air whip at my hair and the warm sun kiss my face as I breathed in the familiar scents of Malibu, I looked down at the box and breathed out a sigh before I began opening one letter after the other, each one making me come to near-tears as I read Miley's pleas, I wasn't surprised to see a few notes from Oliver as well, asking me where I was and how I was doing. I thought of the two of them together, probably married and already living somewhere nice near Harvard, with one and a half kids and a dog and a white picket fence.

I snorted derisively as I layed onto the rocks, clutching the last letter, Miley and I used to talk about what we wanted in our lives, and Miley had told me that was exactly the life she'd wanted to avoid, thats why she had created Hannah Montana, to explore, travel, view other options than marrying young, having babies and being the perfect housewife. But I suppose plans do change, afterall, people change, and as time marches on, nothing stays the same, but if thats true, why do I still love her so much? A tear leaks down my cheek and I let it run, hearing the waves crash against the rocks below me, I feel as if I'm afloat on the shore, the ocean is my lullabye. Suddenly, my light is disrupted and I move my hand from my eyes, believing it to be a cloud,

"Lilly? That you?"I freeze and my eyes snap open to see none other than Jackson Stewart standing over me. He'd changed, his hair was a bit shorter than I remembered, he sported a goatee, similar to his father's and he'd even seemed to grow taller, but then, I was the one lying on my back.

"Jackson Stewart, as I live and breathe... for now,"he smiles and lends a hand as I sit up, he takes a spot next to me.

"It shocked me to hear you over the phone this morning,"he started.

"You, too, how've you been?"I asked, noticing his somewhat, still teenaged demeanor, clad in khaki cargo shorts and an orange Tennessee football jersey.

"Good, I'm co-owner of a music studio alongside Dad now, he started songwritin' again,"Jackson answered.

"Glad to hear it,"I answered, trying to keep it simple, praying he wouldn't pry.

"And how've you been, Lil? Ya know, you really shocked us all when ya took off like ya did, faster than the tornado in Oz,"I smiled, and felt tears sting my eyes again, something about the Stewart family, no matter what it was about, they could always take the simplest things and never make sense with them.

"I'm good, got myself an apartment, I'm mostly a freelance photographer, and I sometimes do editing for the N- the post,"I winced, trying to cover up my lie.

"You were gonna say New York, weren't ya?"my head spun so fast, I was sure to get whiplash. My eyes resembled that of a deer caught in the headlights.

"How-?"

"Your mom isn't that great at keepin secrets- Dont worry, Miles dont know, neither does Oliver, just Dad and me,"Jackson said, soothing my fears.

"But why? I was sure that your Dad would tell her?"I asked, curious, Miley and her father had always been close.

"Yeah, that part I havent figured out, but I s'pose my dad thinks like I do sometimes, its your business, why you choose to keep Miles and Oliver outta your life... I figured if I dont tell her, eventually the guilt'll come back to you,"Jackson shrugged. I glowered,

"You haven't changed all that much afterall, still despicable,"I shoved him lightly. He smiled, but it only lasted a moment,

"Why'd ya leave Malibu, Lilly? Could ya at least tell me? I know we weren't buddies or anything, but I liked you a lot more than I did Oliver, still do, matter of fact,"he grinned.

"It's because I have breasts-"I teased with a smirk.

"That too, but c'mon, what ate you up so bad you had to lose contact with everyone? I mean, I dont wanna bring up any bad memories but Miles was destroyed when you left without saying goodbye, she'd spent nearly two weeks locked in her room wrackin her brains trying to figure out what she did wrong,"he explained. Boy, talk about guilt rising.

"She didn't do anything,"I said quietly, looking down at my bare feet. "It wasn't her, or Oliver that made me leave, it was... just things going on with me, I needed to get away, away from everyone and everything I knew, I couldn't stay anymore."

"Love hurts like a bitch,"Jackson agreed.

"Yeah it- crazy goatee ex-bff's brother say what?!"I shot out. Clapping my hand over my mouth at the phrase that I hadn't used in forever, a phrase that Miley used almost daily. Jackson chuckled.

"I'm not dumb, Lil, I know you loved Miley,"I opened my mouth to argue and he silenced me with a finger to my lips before pulling out his wallet and showing me a photo.

It was the photograph that he'd taken that day at the beach, of Miley and I in the sand laughing and playing.

"That was the day I figured it out... I saw it in your eyes, the way you looked at her, like there was nobody else in the world that could hold a candle, now tell me I'm wrong?"he asked.

"You're right..,"I agreed silently,"for once." He shoved me playfully and put his wallet back.

"You know Miles and Oliver will be there... at your moms birthday party, they fly in tommorow afternoon,"Jackson said. I blinked. "I figure I would go ahead and tell you, so you didn't show up and be knocked speechless."

"Now I'm deffinitely not going-"I grumbled.

"Lilly, its been three years,"Jackson argued, gently. "Miley and Oliver arent married,"this surprised me, I would have thought by now they would have. Jackson stood,"I cant tell you what to do, Lil, but I think that you should still show up, at least give Miley benefit of the doubt, she misses you somethin fierce." He walked away, but turned back,"Ya know, the night my mom died, my parents got into an argument, my father never told her he loved her before she walked out the door... To this day, he regrets that mistake every moment he lives." I felt the tears that had been in the back of my eyes come to the surface as Jackson walked away. I wiped them away angrily and pulled out my cell phone.

"_Well its about time! I was beginning to think you'd bailed on our friendship,_"Erin joked. I felt a sob escape my throat as I realized I shouldn't have come. "_Honey? What's the matter?_"

"I just... need you to do me a huge favor?"I sniffled into the phone.

--x--

Five hours later I was standing in the airport terminal as the flight from Logan reached Los Angeles and I couldn't help but smile brightly at the sight of Erin, camoflauge pants, white undershirt and a faded green army cap on her head, cop shades over her eyes, she had a cigarette tucked behind her ear, a rainbow wristband on her left arm, _Always have to be obvious_. Bag shouldered, she walked with open arms and I practically ran into them, hugging her fiercely.

"Hey babe! Sorry I'm late,"she kissed my forehead. I chuckled.

"Thanks for comin, got one of those for me?"I pointed out her cigarette, she reached into her bag and tossed me a new pack, I smiled and put one between my lips as we headed out toward the Thing and tossed her bags in the back, lighting up.

"So, not that I dont mind flying cross country for my favorite lesbian, but what had you so upset this mornin?"she asked, starting to roll a joint.

"You better not let my mom catch you with that, she doesn't know about it,"Erin snorted. I smiled. "And Miley and Oliver are in Malibu, I'll be seeing them Friday at my moms birthday party."

"Your mom invited them?!"she asked, stunned.

"No, Miley's father is throwing the bash and they're coming home, well actually,"I checked my watch. "They ARE home, and I just... didn't wanna face her alone?"I asked.

Erin lit the joint and leaned over to kiss my cheek, placing the joint between my lips.

"Anything for you, babe, you know that,"she smiled and I allowed the pot to lull me while I drove to my house, I nearly chewed an entire pack of gum, praying my mom wouldn't notice the smell as we finally reached my house.

"Nice place, but I'm too wired to be at home, cant we do something fun?"Erin asked, as we put her bags in my room, my mom was already asleep, I'd save introductions for later.

"This isn't New York, Erin, Malibu isn't really a hot spot for parties-"

"Yeah, and Hollywood isn't where all the big paid actors are?"Erin joked. "C'mon, lets go clubbin or go out to dinner somewhere, lets go find a party and just fucking crash it,"she wrapped her arms around my waist, she was most deffinitely high.

"I think you just need to crash,"I laughed quietly but grabbed my keys anyway.

--x--

We wound up heading out to grab a small bite from McDonalds, Erin nearly ordered the entire menu as she lit up again, what a scene, the poor pimpled teenager nearly in tears laughing at the sight of my high neighbor next to me. We headed to the mall, but they closed about the time we pulled up so instead I took her to the beach where I grabbed a couple sodas from Rico's. That little punk hadn't grown much, still a complete dweeb, too and rude as I remember.

"God this place is so _gorgeous_, I should live here, leave the damn rodents and cold graphiti streets behind,"Erin giggled, practically on top of me, trying to stand.

"Keep it down, we have cops here, too, ya know? And they are just as bad as the NYPD,"she laughed.

"You worry too much, Lillypad,"she fell back and hit the sand. "Weeee! Hahaha!"I couldn't help but smile at her foolishness, here sat a girl thirty going on thirteen. "C'mon Lilly! Come sit with me!"she practically yelled. I laughed.

"Lilly?"my laughing stopped. My eyes went wide and my heart seemed to freeze over at the sound of my name being spoken by someone other than Erin.

I twisted around slowly and I saw Jackson running up apologetically behind none other than Oliver Oken and Miley Stewart, both standing their, holding hands and looking at me as if I were a ghost. Oliver's hair was deffinitely shorter than I remembered, but very unruly, he had a five o'clock shadow and a stubble, now sporting wire-rimmed glasses, making him look every bit the lawyer that I imagined. My eyes shifted to Miley, who had not changed hardly any, her hair was longer, reaching the small of her back in wild, loose curls, she'd grown a little and had a bit more curve, and her freckles stood out among her face now that she no longer had that Malibu tan, but the biggest change was in her eyes, beautiful turquoise eyes that used to shine like two beautiful polished stones were now seemingly darker, almost as if they carried a dead weight that kept them that stormy ocean shade.

"Miley, Oliver, how about we head upto the house now and-"Jackson started.

"Lilly is that really you?"Miley asked me. I could hear the trace of hurt in her voice, that voice that still held that beautiful Tennessee accent, how lovely it sounded rolling off of her tongue.

"Hey Lil!"I blinked, breaking eye contact, almost thankful toward the welcome distraction of Erin who had managed to pick herself up and was now squinting at the couple before us. She wrapped her arm around my shoulders. "Hey Lil! It's her! It's your friend!"I begged her silently to stay quiet. "Miley isnt it?"she giggled. "Wow, she IS a hottie!"I groaned inwardly.

"Forgive my friend, she's not feeling well, I'll just be er- taking her home now-"I said turning her the other way.

"BYE!"Erin shouted and giggled. Two steps along the way I felt my hand gripped tightly and I froze as tingles shot through me.

"Wait, Lilly, dont go,"Miley's plea made me nearly cry, I didn't turn around.

"Let her take her friend home, Miley,"Oliver said, his voice hardened. "She's more important now,"I winced, I almost wanted to hit Oliver for that but I knew I deserved it.

"Oliver!"she snapped. I couldn't take it, I ripped my hand from Miley's and I heard her gasp almost as if she'd been smacked. I hated doing that to her but I had to get away. Miley didn't know me anymore, she didn't know the person I'd become and I would hate to see that dissappointment in her eyes, I'd caused her enough pain, she had Oliver now. _She's happy without me_. I got myself and Erin into the car, Erin had passed out and I drove us home, trying my hardest to stay in between the lines as my vision was blurred by my tears.

--x--

_Stop it, damnit, stop crying, Truscott, its been three years, you're over her_. My brain yelled as I settled in for the night. I felt like I did that night at college, _Miley, please, please make it better, why cant you love me?_ My heart squeezed painfully inside my chest, I couldn't breathe, I gasped shakily through my tears as I cried harder into the couch. I never heard the feet on the stairs as I tried harder to control myself. My heart clenched painfully, breaking again inside my chest at the thought of my hurting Miley, Oliver's words rang in my head.

"_More important now..._"_ No. Not true. You're important to me, Miley, you always have been, cant you see? Please, Miley, Miley I need you, please_. I sobbed harder, my entire body wracked.

"Lilly? Oh Lilly,"my mother whispered as she turned on the light from the TV stand, she came over to me and sat, lifting my head into her lap and she rubbed my back, and ran her fingers through my hair. "Shh, its alright baby, shh, everything will be alright."

_No it wont. It never will be. Miley is the only one, the only one who can make it alright. Please, make her love me, Mom, you always made things right, make this right?_

I felt my cries soften as my mother continued to rub my back and play with my hair, she always knew how to calm me down. But no matter what she did, she couldn't stop my heart from breaking.

* * *

**AN:** Okay, yet another chapter down, I feel bad for how I'm putting Lilly through this Hell, but I just cant help it, I'm basically pouring my soul into her so someone else can share the pain I'm going through, the pain I'm sure we've all been through over somebody. Please review!! More will be up soon


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer still stands!!**

--x--

I want to die. My head felt as if someone bashed my skull in with a hammer as I woke the next day, sad part is, I didn't drink at all. But damn, could I use one. I felt the couch shift near my legs and I blinked, turning over I noticed Erin.

"Morning,"she smiled. I growled into the sofa. "I was thinking you could use a stiff one, so I went out and bought your favoriteee,"she smiled. I looked back and noticed her holding a six pack of Budweiser. I pulled myself up slowly and popped a can open, chugging it. "Easy, save some for the fishes,"I noticed the joint in her ear.

"Where's my mother?"I asked, hiding the beer.

"Chillax, she headed into the office, something about someone and a bad argument blah blah, said she'd be there for a while so..,"she lit up the joint and took a hit, smiling and passing it to me. "Lets get fucked up?"

"Last night wasn't enough for you?"I asked, taking a hit myself and then swigging down the rest of my beer.

"Eh, I dont remember much,"she shrugged, taking more hits. Then passing it to me. "I _do_ however, remember meeting a certain someone."

I choked on my hit and I coughed. Erin handed me another beer, popping it open, I guzzled half of the can, shaking my head and feeling the buzz come on.

"It's a beautiful day out, lets go get tattoos,"Erin smiled.

"You've got like, fifty of them already!"I wheezed as I finished my beer.

"Yeah, but you only have two, c'mon, lazy bones, I wanna see how they run their Tat parlors here,"she smiled. I rolled my eyes and took one last hit off of the joint before I got up, Erin slapped my ass as I managed and I let out my usual 'eep'!

As I finished my shower and got dressed in a pair of black capris and a matching tube top, I let my hair fall down around my shoulders but I kept a scrunchee around my wrist just in case. We headed down to Divine Lines up on the Strip and I tried to decide which tattoo to get, it was true I'd gotten two already, I had the infinity symbol on my left wrist, that hurt like a mother, and a key hole printed over my left breast where my heart should be. Erin had already decided to get a roserie put around her ankle, I finally settled on a small white lilly on my right tailbone.

"Looks good,"Erin winked, jokingly at me as she applied the healing solution to it a couple hours later as we sat outside my back porch, finishing off her joint and my six pack.

"Yeah, say what you want, you aint gettin any brownie points after laughing at me while it was being done,"I glowered.

"What did you expect? The look on your face was priceless when he reached that one little spot with the needle and your eyes turned into plates!"she snorted and coughed into her hit, I took the joint from her,

"Before you burn yourself or me,"I reasoned, aggrivated as I took a hit. She laughed,

"Lilly?"We both stopped laughing and I choked on my intake of air, my lungs burned and I coughed lightly as my eyes went round at the sight of Miley Stewart at the bottom of my porch, staring up at me with curious eyes and a slightly stunned expression. Then again, I wasn't in the greatest of positions, bent over with Erin applying lotion close to my ass, a joint in one hand, a beer in the next. _Breathe and fucking say something to the girl, Truscott!_

"Miley,"_ Oh, how smooth._ Erin ripped the joint from my hands.

"Thanks for holdin that, Lil, ah, Miley!"Erin smiled. "Dont be a stranger, c'mon up here. Check out Lil's latest body art!"I glared at her but at the same time I was grateful for her helping me out. Miley cautiously walked up the steps toward us, I had trouble keeping eye contact.

"You got a tattoo?"she asked, softly.

"Third one,"Erin smiled, proudly. Miley looked over to Erin and nodded. I reacted,

"Sorry, er- Miley... this is Erin, a good friend of mine and Erin this is-"

"Miley Stewart, pleased to finally meet ya,"Erin held her hand out. Miley shook it with a kind smile.

"Pleasure."

Silence. And then...

"Well, you two have some catchin up to do, I'll just be in the livin room watching the tube! Later!"Erin ducked out and I reminded myself to kill her later.

"Put that out!"I yelled after her and she burned the joint out and stuck it in her cigarette pack.

There was more silence, very uncomfortable silence,

"So.. you smoke pot and drink now?"Miley asked.

"Not really, I was just... taking a hit, hoping it would numb this damn pain in my ass-"I plastered on a small smile, it was only a half-lie, my ass did hurt, but then, so did my heart, and it was getting worse by the moment, a warm breeze came through and ruffled Miley's hair, I caught a whiff of her familiar tropical shampoo and that sugar cane perfume she always loved to wear.

"I've missed you, Lilly,"she spoke up, looking me dead in the eye. I wished I could look away, but I was merely a fly in her trap, doomed.

"I've missed you, too,"I whispered, honestly.

"Your friend seems nice,"Miley referred to Erin as I offered her a seat.

"Yeah, she really is, I came here alone... but I decided I needed some company other than just mom, she flew in last night,"I smiled, again thankful for a slight distraction. This was safe territory. Miley nodded,

"Good to know someone's kept an eye out for you, how'd you meet her?"

"She lives in the apartment below mine up in-"I paused, almost afraid to tell her. She noticed this and sighed, looking down at her hands.

"Lilly, I didnt come here to beat around the bush... I want to know, no.. I _have_ to know, why'd you leave Malibu? Why'd you leave... me?"she whispered, her voice cracking, she looked up at me and I saw the tears in her eyes. The pain that I'd caused. _I'm sorry, Miley, I never wanted to hurt you_.

I opened my mouth, but nothing came out, I snapped my jaw shut and cleared my throat.

"I-" _Damnit, form a sentence! You are capable of that, y'know!_

"You broke your promise, you know?"I blinked. What? Miley continued,"our last night at Berkeley, remember? You promised me you'd stay, always with me? You broke that promise, why? Cant you please just tell me what I did so wrong?"A tear coarsed down Miley's cheek and I felt my eyes sting with tears. My voice was caught, I couldn't do anything but stand there and watch her break down. She nodded, picking herself up, she didn't look at me.

"You're my best friend, Lilly, and I'll always love you,"my heart wrenched at those words. "Hopefully you'll learn to forgive me someday, and come back around,"she turned and walked down the steps, my heart yelled for me to chase after her but my brain warred that she deserved to hurt, she deserved to know the pain that I'd been through. She paused at the bottom step,"Oliver and I are going to be married next month, I'd like to see you there, the wedding is gonna be here in Malibu,"my blood ran cold at that statement and I felt another piece of my soul shatter at the the thought that I'd truly lost Miley forever. She walked away, and I couldn't do or think of anything to say that would keep her there.

_I love you, Miley._

_I need you, Miley._

_I'm better than him, cant you see that?_

_My heart has always belonged to you, why cant you just hold me tight and tell me that I'm the only one you need,_

_the only one you Love?_

--x--

Friday night was here, it took both my mother and Erin's power combined to pull me out of my bedroom and get me ready to go to my mothers birthday party. And now here I stood, in a pair of navy blue hip-hugger jeans and a light blue blouse that I've been told brought out my eyes. I didnt plan to stay long, just long enough to say hi, give my mother her gift and then head back to the house and mope. Erin swore up and down however, that if I didn't talk to Miley, she'd kick my ass all the way back to New York.

Jackson answered the door,

"Howdy ya'll! C'mon in, food and drinks are in the kitchen, help yourselves, Happy Birthday, Heather,"he smiled. I noticed a lot of my mothers co-workers were here along with some people I hadn't seen in a long time, Sarah stood near the punch, trying to avoid Danny, who still had really bad dandruff, I was extremely shocked to see Jake Ryan there, alongside Amber Dewitt, who was very pregnant, both had rings on their fingers, surprise indeed, I also noticed Becca Wheeler talking to noneother than Miley and Oliver, who currently had his arm wrapped around Miley's waist, almost possessively, Miley looked rather bored with the entire conversation, as I continued to stare she turned her head and locked eyes and I felt that familiar spark shoot through me.

I couldn't take it anymore.

I turned away and walked out the back door onto the deck, I needed air, I needed to get away from her, I couldn't deal with seeing them together. I just couldn't.

"You ran off pretty quick for someone who could never finish the mile run in High School,"I swore under my breath. Great.

"What do you want, Jake?"I didn't turn to him as he sat next to me, I lit a cigarette and breathed in.

"To know why its Oliver over there with his arm around Miley and not you,"not for the first time did I look shocked as I turned my eyes to Jake Ryan, his hair was longer, pulled back into a ponytail, and he had a sideburn look going on, probably for some new movie.

"What the Hell?"

"I think everyone in that room knows you love each other, except you both are too damn stubborn to see it,"Jake said.

"Since when did you become Captain Obvious? And here's a new hint, Miles doesn't love me, not like that,"I scowled as I breathed in another hit of the toxic smoke from my Marlboro Red.

"I'm not dumb, Lilly, I knew back in High school there was chemistry between the two of you, I just liked Miley so much that I ignored it, and prayed she'd pick me instead, now, I know that God has other plans,"he flashed his wedding ring with a smile.

"Yeah, that was different, really? Amber?"

"I know, totally,"he laughed. "But I love her, and she loves me, and I'm about to be a Dad and we're happier than anything else, thats all that matters, not money, not fame, just being happy, thats enough, and why you and Miley deny yourselves that happiness, I'll never understand,"Jake pointed out and stole my cigarette, burning it out on his shoe.

"You owe me a cigarette for that,"I snapped.

"You'll thank me later, now, I'm saying this because I care for you both, get your ass in there and tell Miley how you feel,"he said, getting up.

I sat outside a bit longer, looking out into the ocean, I always loved coming over to Miley's, it used to be a safety zone for me, away from school and away from home when my dad used to live there. Miley was my safe haven, I could always count on her, just another reason why I loved her so much. It hurt to be away from her, but it hurt to be near her and not have her as well.

_So tell her._

I couldn't _just_ tell her, could I? I mean, yeah I could see myself walking in there in the middle of my mothers birthday party and yelling at Miley that I was in love with her, and that was why I'd ignored her for three long years, no I couldn't do that, its just not right. Plus she'd probably laugh in my face, then kiss that bastard who I once trusted. I thought back to Miley's letters, how she poured her heart out, wishing I'd come home, and just tell her why. Maybe thats what I should do.

I walk inside and I pass by a few people, hoping to avoid conversation, and I find a pen and note pad and I walk back outside, passing Erin along the way who is downing her third beer and looking for some fresh meat, she winks at me as I pass and I sit back down on the porch, hoping nobody comes outdoors. I begin to write.

_Miley,_

_You asked me why I left, I couldn't answer, I thought to the letters you wrote, how my mother told me_

_you wrote for nearly a year, I dont think I could have done that, myself, then again, I'd do damn near_

_anything when it comes to you. I'd do anything for you, Miles, and thats the reason why I cant tell you_

_aloud because I could never form a sentence with you staring at me, with those innocent blue eyes._

_Did you know that your eyes are my favorite part of you? They seemed so bright at one time, so happy_

_and I knew just what mood you were in by the color of your eyes. They truly bear your soul for the world_

_to see and I love that about you, Miley. I love everything about you, and I'm now telling you because I _

_just cant hold it in any longer, I'm in love with you, Miley Ray Stewart, I have been for so long and its_

_the real reason why I left Malibu without telling you. It's the reason why I've hidden myself from you_

_for three long, gruelling years. It's the reason why I have to drown my sorrows in alcohol, pot and sex_

_almost every night, just so I dont see your face in my dreams._

_But you know what? I do anyway, you're my addiction, Miley, I see you everywhere, day and night,_

_no matter where I am. I'll see a flash of brown hair and I'll turn my head, I'll hear that accent and I run_

_expecting to see you around the corner, I'll catch a whiff of your too-expensive-but-oh-so-sweet perfume_

_and I'll look around until I discover it was just another passerby. It was never you._

_You dont know, but I've dreamed that someday you'd find me, you'd be in my apartment(in New York_

_by the way.) You'd tell me that you found me by the sound of my breaking heart, and that you'd come_

_to finally fix it. You'd come to apologize for hurting me and promise you'd spend the rest of our lives_

_making it up to me. You'd hold me tight and I'd be the one telling YOU to stay._

_Now I realize that its just a dream. Life isn't like our dreams, reality is cold and bitter, and I know that_

_you'll never be able to love me the way I love you. And so I hope, with this letter, we can both earn our_

_closure and you'll come to someday forgive me, and then forget me. I always wanted you to be happy,_

_Miley, but if I'm not the one making you happy, I cant be around you, seeing that other person do a job_

_that my heart so desperately wants. But know this, I didn't break my promise to you, I've always been_

_with you, and I always will be,_

_Forever._

_Lilly_.

Tears splashed onto the paper and I cursed them for falling. I knew that I had to do this though, I would pack up tonight and hopefully talk Erin into leaving with me in the morning. I had to leave Malibu. And never return.

* * *

**AN:** Poor Lil, one more chapter, make it or break it. Leave me love!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer still stands!!**

--x--

I walked into the party, and Erin was the first to spot me.

"That punch crap tastes shitty, I'm bout to spike it with some Jimmy and I need cover, wanna join?"she giggled into my ear.

"Later, Erin, I have to do something,"I walked away, I was on a mission, my eyes found my target, standing over in the corner talking to Jackson, Oliver seemed to be away at the moment, perfect.

"Lilly! Oh, c'mon honey, we're about to light the candles, Robbie Ray's been over there for about half an hour, goodness,"my mother brushed past.

But I didn't hear her, I didn't even really feel her, I saw nothing but gray, and Miley shone like a beacon of light in the cold, stormy darkness. I walked upto her and she turned as I closed in, I wasted no time in pressing her up against the wall, my body colliding with hers, I grabbed her hands and laced our fingers, pressing the folded note into one of her hands.

"What the-?"

I silenced her with a kiss, a deep, passionate, pure kiss that spoke volumes about how I felt and I prayed to God that she wouldn't kill me for this, but it only took a moment when I felt her respond, her eyes closed and she surrendered into me, her tongue fighting mine for dominance. I was in bliss, until...

A rough hand grabbed my arm and yanked me back,

"What the fuck are you doing with my fiancee?!"Oliver screeched as I realized the entire party had gone silent, staring. Jackson was hiding his smile, Jake high-fived Danny. Amber and Sarah gaped along with several other partygoers. Robbie Ray looked ready to pass out, my mother looked concerned and Erin was silently hooting for me.

I looked from a very angry Oliver to a very stunned and breathless Miley.

"I'm sorry for everything,"I whispered. "But I'm not sorry for that,"and I turned on my heel and walked out of the Stewart household. It started to rain not five minutes along my walk home and I welcomed the inclement weather.

--x--

"Are you sure you're doing the right thing, Lilly? You haven't even given her a chance to read it and see how she turns it up!"Erin snapped as I finished packing my clothes.

"I dont _care_, Erin! It's my choice, not yours, stop trying to make it for me because I wont listen! My heart cant take it anymore! I've waited for her to love me since I was eleven years old, I'm twenty-five, I need to move on, I cant sit around forever, and let my life pass me by! At least she knows now, its off of my chest!"I half-yelled.

"It's off of your chest, but your heart will carry that burden for the rest of your life!"Erin snapped. "How do you expect to win her over if you run away everytime you get scared?!"

My eyes flashed dangerously as I felt a surge of anger, Erin knew nothing about the pain I was going through, how much I had wished I stayed at the party, and made Miley love me, but all I could do now was let it go, I'd given her the letter, telling her how I felt, I couldn't force her to be mine. My heart clenched painfully but my anger burned on.

"You have no right, no you have no NERVE to tell me that, for somebody who sits at home when she doesnt have to work, drowning herself in booze and pot, you cant even hold a stable relationship because you're so afraid that you'll be hurt again! You'll grow old with your cat and maybe a few more, just like the old tales say because you're too damn scared and like your no-good father to open yourself up to somebody!"I regretted those words the moment I finished. Seeing that look come down upon Erin's face, her eyes, I knew that look anywhere, she had shut her emotional walls down, locked up tighter than Fort Knox and a piece of her soul had litterally just died, I had killed it, all because I wanted someone else to feel my pain. _Damnit_.

Erin walked out of my room without a word, slamming the door, I was thankful she didnt have a car here so she couldn't drive anywhere, but I noticed her walk briskly out the front door, slamming it, too and off toward the beach, and I prayed silently to any Higher power that could hear me to not let her do anything stupid. I turned back around, anger still coursing through my blood, but it immediately stopped when I caught sight of my mother, standing in the doorway, looking dissappointed.. and somewhat guilty.

"Mom, I-"she held up her hand and sat on my bed and motioned for me to join her. I managed to force my legs over to the bed as I sat next to her. "I really messed up.. didn't I?"I whispered, staring at my converses.

"Oh, Lilly, it'll be okay, Erin seems to be a very sweet person. I'm sure she just wants to go blow off some steam, you were the same when you were younger, you still are-,"my mother smiled at the memory. I wish I could smile, but I felt as if the world were dragging me down. "You know when I was brought up, everyone in my family went to church, everyone but your grandmother and me- she never set foot in church again after Charlie died-"

"Charlie?"I asked, curious. My mother smiled.

"Your uncle- my older brother,"she said, softly. My eyes widened, my entire life I'd been led to believe that my mother had been an only child, I'd never seen pictures of her with any siblings, just cousins and friends.

"But-?"she looked into her purse and pulled out the photograph of a young man with sandy blonde hair and blue eyes, no more than eighteen, and in an Army uniform.

"He was six years older than me, and when he turned eighteen, the draft had just been legalized for Vietnam and he chose the military instead of college, your grandfather had been so proud of him, but your grandmother, worried, everyday for him, I had been thirteen, riding my bike home with my friend from school when I saw the Army Seargents at our front door, he'd been shot dead his second week on tour in North Vietnam,"I held the picture up and noticed the serious look on the youthful, boyish face. "Your grandmother blamed God for taking him away from her, she drank away her sorrows, and threw Daddy out of the house, I was still a bit young to understand what it was like to really lose somebody, I used to sit on the porch still believing it might've been a mistake, and that he'd pull up in the drive any moment looking for supper,"I saw the tears gather in my mothers eyes and I wiped at them, she smiled and kissed my hand.

"When I met your father, I was seventeen, and he had just gotten out of the service, and oh, how I loved that man, but your father was also religious, and I wasn't, after a time, I learned to blame God for taking my brother, at such a young age, when you were born, I swore that I would never force you to do anything you never wanted, thats why I never brought religion on you as much as your father had wanted to send you to church, thats why when you told me you loved Miley, I was fine with it... and I always will be, Lilly, but something I'm not alright with is you torturing yourself like this-"

"Mom-"

"Lillian Rose Truscott you will listen to me,"she said sternly, and clapped her hand on my knee, making me silent. "Now, your Uncle, died before he ever had the chance at finding a true love... your father, to this day will always be my true love, despite that he turned into quite the monster in his last years,"I nodded in agreement. "Lilly, my point is, life comes at you fast, things happen, in a heartbeat, great and bad, and you can never expect them or stop them, so when they happen, you have to take it for what it is and embrace it with everything you've got. Now, Miley read your letter and she is sitting downstairs as we speak-" my eyes widened. "And this time, Lilly, I wont cover for you, I lied for years to protect you, but I know now that it was mostly in vain because you just didn't want to face the fact you could possibly get what you want, so now I am ordering you, as a mother and as a friend you'll have forever, to go down there and hear what that girl has to say,"my mother kissed my forehead and whispered into my hair,"I'll always love you."

I sat there, stunned for a moment, trying to process everything my mother had just told me. Then the realization hit me. Miley. I seemed to almost feel her presence, I didn't have to even get up as I noticed movement from the corner of my eye and I looked up as a light knock hit my door. Miley Stewart was at my door, her cheeks slightly red, like her eyes. She'd been crying. She gave me a small smile.

"May I come in?"she asked, tilting her head, her curls flowed along her shoulders, wildly, her perfect pink lips in a small smile, I could see the red mark on her bottom lip where she'd been biting at it, like she always does when she is nervous or anxious. She sat beside me, and I noticed she was holding the note that I'd written earlier. I said nothing, afraid that if I moved, the world around me would shatter and I'd fall for eternity, with nobody to help me stand again.

"So I read your letter,"she whispered. "I have to say.. it deffinitely took me by surprise, all the little things, stuff that you notice." My heart hammered inside of my chest, thundering against my ribcage. I'm surprised Miley couldn't hear it. I'm surprised it was even beating, it hurt. God, did it hurt. "Lilly?" I dared my gaze upward and met her eyes that were looking at me expectantly. "How long?"

"I would tell you.. since the moment I saw you, but I suppose that is too cliche,"she smiled, that helped, as I licked my lips, my throat was dry. _I need a beer_. "I guess I'd have to say the first time I noticed I was truly in love with you, was that time we had a fight over you being picked last in gym, remember?"she laughed. I heard a chuckle escape my throat, amazingly.

"Oh _God_, I remember, what was it? I named a plant and replaced him for you to go to that party!"Miley giggled, leaning into me.

"It was a Ficus-"

"-named Fern!"she finished for me. We both laughed. And it grew silent again.

"When I sat behind you while you accepted your award, you talked about True Friends, and I realized it then, you said it yourself, we loved each other, and no matter what happened, we eventually came through,"I whispered, looking back to my converses. I felt a warm hand slip into my own and Miley's fingers laced with mine.

"We always do..,"she replied, softly. "So whats stopping us now?"she asked.

"I think you know the answer to that, Miles,"my voice cracked, and I blinked, I couldn't cry, not in front of her.

Suddenly that night of college came back to me,

"_Promise me you'll always stay? Stay with me?_"

"_Always._"

My heart bled. It was literally tearing itself apart right here in front of us and I was the only one who could see it happening. Yet Miley said nothing.

"Lilly-"

"I think you should go,"I spoke, firmly. I stood, putting space between myself and Miley, I didn't turn to her.

"Why? Is that what you want?"Miley asked, I could hear the hurt in her voice. I blinked. _Just leave, Miley, leave me like you always do, go to Oliver, be with him, be happy. It's better that way, for everyone_. I felt my heart hammering louder, how the Hell is that possible?

"I-"my voice cracked again and I tried to swallow the lump in my throat. I felt Miley's hand on my shoulder, a small warmth in a body frozen in ice, I'm turning into a puddle before her.

"Do you want me to leave?"Miley whispered. She turned me around, and I struggled to keep the tears from falling, my lip quivered and I was shaking like a leaf, desperate for support, I was falling. Falling. Deeper. Longer. Harder. "Lilly?"she placed her hand on my cheek. "Tell me to go, tell me you never want to see me again and you wont, I'll walk out of that door and you'll never hear from me again, I promise." I could hear the tears lacing in her voice, she tried to get me to look at her but I couldnt. _You cant just let my heart break in peace, can you, Miles? You always had to do have an encore_. She dropped her hand and backed away, I said nothing.

She walked out of my bedroom and I felt, more than heard her exit my house. My life. She was gone. Forever.

* * *

**AN:** Dun, dun, dunnn!! What do you think? The end? Or give it another chapter and call this a cliffie? xD FEED ME REVIEWS and tell me what to do!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer still stands!!**

**AN:** You guys have gone above and beyond and made me laugh to the point i couldnt breathe with your reviews, im so glad to have you all around, now. Ya'll asked for it!! A happy ending it is! Enjoy the final chapter to my installment and dont forget to leave me some love!!

--x--

"You have to talk to me sometime, we've already been on the road for ten hours,"I tried once more to make Erin speak to me, Hell, just a glimpse from her would be nice, I felt terrible for what I'd said, she had come back to the house right as my mother had begun making a final breakfast that morning after we'd fought and she had eaten silently upstairs while packing, refusing to say a word. She'd been polite enough to thank my mother for letting her stay before she buckled in and didn't speak the entire ride. I'd tried everything from mentioning the weather, to playing her favorite CD and singing loudly, hoping for anything to get her to budge, but then again, Erin could be very stubborn when she wanted to be, worse than me. I was easy when it came to women, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.

I finally decided one last shot as I pulled into the gas station somewhere outside of Cincinatti. I fueled up the Thing and then went inside to buy myself a six pack for when I got home and a pack of Marlboro Reds, if this didn't work, I would move back to Malibu as soon as I dropped her back off in the City. As I started the engine, I pulled out the pack of cigarettes, she'd finished her last pack back in Tulsa and I knew by the way her leg couldn't stop bouncing up and down that she was craving the nicotine. I lit up, and I put the Thing in drive, purposely blowing most of the smoke out instead of inhaling, and the smoke caught wind and I could barely contain my grin as I noticed Erin's eyes twitch and her fingers began to tap along the door edge. _Got you_.

"Mmm, damn I needed one of these, after all that crap I put up with, its nice to have this baby burning a hole in my lungs,"I breathed in the toxicity of the cigarette smoke and then exhaled, from the corner of my eye I noticed Erin's eyes dart to the cigarette as I puffed and then back to the dashboard, her fingers tapping more incessant against the doorframe, I would normally laugh at a situation like this but I kept my eyes on the road and my act together. _You want one, you're gonna have to earn it_.

"Such a shame, ya know, that you cant get any money out to pay for a pack of these, til we hit the City,"I smirked. Erin was shooting glares that would freeze Hell over, she knew well what I was doing and it pissed her off even more that it was working all the same. I breathed in another hit from the cigarette and exhaled, this time, it hit her square in the face as the wind came through off of the interstate.

"You've always been a fucking tease, Truscott, now stop fucking around and give me one of those before I'm forced to kill you with my nail file,"she snapped, clearly aggrivated that I'd won. I chuckled and tossed the pack to her with my lighter, she wasted no time in tearing into the cigarettes, I almost thought she would put three in her mouth, just to make up for the hours without, but she settled on one, for which I was grateful. She handed it back to me but I stopped her.

"Keep it, I'm quitting,"I said and flicked my butt out the window, watching it hit the interstate behind me and die out.

"Thanks,"she mumbled.

"You know I really am sorry, Erin... I think- no, I know that I didn't mean what I said, I guess I just wanted so much for.. someone else to really understand what I was going through that I had no choice but to hurt you, because you were there... you've always been there. For me,"my voice had died down into a soft whisper by the last sentence. Erin smiled, a genuine, sweet smile at me, the first one I'd seen since my mothers party.

"I'll have to hand it to ya, babe, you're possibly the first person since Ginger to really know whats in my heart, and sometimes... it scares the living shit outta me, but at the same time, I'm grateful that you do, because you know, and I know, and we can relate to each other, and I know I can always turn to you because of it, I'll never have to hide anything, because you already know my soul,"Erin flicked her own butt out the window and started on a second. "I've always cared for you, ya know, since you first moved in... I knew that there was something about you that would get to me, and I was right,"she smiled.

I blinked.

"You're not in love with me, are you?"I asked, slightly panicked. She laughed, almost cackling.

"Of course not!"she giggled, puffing on her cigarette. "But I do love you, you've been like family to me, you're truly the sister I've never had."

"But you _do_ have a sister, remember?"I grinned. She scoffed,

"Pfft, please, that lame excuse for trailer trash? She's sixteen years old and has two kids already, she didn't stop my father at all when he nearly beat me to death with a skillet and she never cared about me the way you do, so as far as I'm concerned, the only family I have, and the only family I'll ever need, is you, my lil' Lilly-bean,"she winked, pressing her hand on my shoulder and squeezing it comfortingly. I felt tears sting my eyes, for once, they were happy tears. I reached up and linked hands with Erin, lacing our fingers together and kissing the top.

"You'll always be apart of me,"I smiled.

Around Pittsburgh, I finally grew tired and we switched, she took the drivers side and I got into the passengers, I leaned over and layed my head in her lap as she drove, looking up at the sky as we made our way home, and for the first time, I looked to the heavens as the skyline began to lighten up and the stars faded, and I prayed. Thanking the powers that Be for giving me such a wonderful friend, even if I couldn't have Miley, I'd always have people who cared for me, and maybe, just maybe, that would be enough.

_Rules to set for self, get a permanent job, maybe go back to school. Maybe. Deffinitely stop smoking, limit drinking to one... a day, no a week... Okay, a day for now. Talk to Mom more. Stop screwing around and try to find a serious relationship. Laugh more. Love. Live._

I eventually drifted off and forgot about the world surrounding me, but it wasn't too long after I'd fallen into a slumber that I awoke to Erin shaking my shoulder gently.

"We're home, Lil, c'mon, you can go upstairs and crawl into bed,"she smiled. I whimpered as I sat up from my comfortable position and I looked around at the morning streets of the East village, the paperboy was running his route, the hot dog vendor on the corner was just starting to warm his ovens, neighbors were out, in their suits, getting ready for the day ahead, that annoying old lady across the street was out, letting her dogs run loose. It wasn't perfect, but this was deffinitely home.

I grabbed my bags and followed Erin inside as we stopped on her floor I paused,

"Why dont you come up with me?"I asked. "I dont feel like being alone." She looked almost nervous, and my eyebrows rose in slight confusion.

"Erm- well, how about you just go on up, I may show up a bit later, you're pretty tired, so am I- yeah, night!"she smiled and nearly slammed the door in my face. Awkward!

I made my way up to the next floor and groaned, I really didn't want to see the state my apartment was in, I didn't get much cleaned before I left, so I knew I'd have to look forward to that, as I placed my key in the lock and opened my door I tossed my bags down in the corner and locked up, deciding I'd unpack later. I rounded into the kitchen and placed my beer in the fridge but as I turned and headed into my living area I froze.

"Hi." Oh. My. God.

Miley.

Miley Stewart was sitting on my couch, looking up at me, a paperback novel of mine from my shelf sitting in her lap, she had circles under her eyes, stating she'd been up, waiting? How?

"How did you get in here?"I managed to croak out.

"You're friend.. Erin? She told me where to find the spare key-"

_That little-_

"You know, you should really consider getting a larger apartment, you have too much stuff to be crammed in a small hole like this,"Miley suggested. I felt a small twinge of anger, how dare she come up here, telling me how to live my life and where I should be, she had no right!

"It's cozy for me, its not like I have anyone else to take care of anyway,"I growled. She frowned. "Why are you here?"I managed to ask, a bit nicer than my previous tone, anger was still boiling in me, but at the same time, so was curiousity. I put up my defenses as she stood, I couldn't let her hurt me. _She wont hurt me again, not again, not when I just finally managed to let her go_.

"The same reason you are,"Miley said, quietly.

"I'm home, you're home is miles away... with Oliver, remember?"I snapped, I felt my heart twinge as she winced from my tone but at the moment I didn't care. I was sick and tired of all of this. "Listen, do whatever it is you need to do and go, I'm too damn tired to put up with anymore games, Miley, I cant take it anymore." Miley looked at me, those blue eyes searching mine, she took a step closer,

"I'm not playing games, Lilly, I never meant to hurt you, and my home isn't with Oliver, anymore,"she lifted her left hand and I noticed the ring was gone. "It took me about five seconds after you left my house that day to realize that I'd made a huge mistake, that all this time, time that I'd wasted thinking I was happy, when I wasnt... that all I really wanted was to be with you, you're my best friend, Lilly, you know me better than anyone else in the world, and when I'm with you, I feel like I dont have to hide or try to be anyone other than who I am, and I love you for that-"

"Miley,"my voice cracked. I blinked, damning the tears. "Please. Just save it, I dont want sob stories, I dont want games, I dont want any of it, cant you just let me spend my life, mending my heart in peace?"I whispered, hoarsely.

"But I want to help you mend it, Lilly,"that just about broke me. Hearing her say those words. The first tear fell and I could feel the dam crumbling around my heart. I was shaking, my world had broken again and I was falling, long, hard, fast. "I came here to tell you just that... That you dont have to go it alone, Lilly, not anymore, I'm sorry.. for everything I put you through, I'm sorry for not being there when you needed me most. _I'm _sorry for just not loving you when you so desperately needed me to, but you have to know, that I love you... I have for the longest time, and it just grows with every breath I take."

Miley stood inches away from me, she lifted my chin with a finger and wiped my endless tears. She pressed a kiss to my cheeks, her warm breath tickling my nose, smelling of peppermint and coffee.

"I love you, Lilly Truscott, and I dont want to waste anymore time trying to prove it, or fight to make you see that its true... and that I'm never leaving you again, because by your side is where I'm meant to be, forever, so please, just let me love you, for the rest of our lives?" I looked up into her eyes, despite the blur, I could see the love and trust she held for me, like wearing a heart on a sleeve, she wore her heart in her eyes.

"Stay,"I whispered, breathlessly. She smiled,

"Forever, I swear." I couldn't stop myself, I grabbed her face and pulled her into a kiss that sent our toes curling, and she kissed back.

Can love go back in time and mend a broken heart? I think it can. Because I know it did that day. Miley moved her things in for a short time, until we both finally found permanent jobs, Miley as a clerk for the ADA's office in Manhattan and myself as the photojournalist for the New York Times, and moved into a nice brownstone on the other side of town, Erin stayed where she was, although we always had a spare room for her to come visit anytime, but Miley assured us both, the only person she'd be sleeping with was herself, because I was all hers. Oliver apparently got over the fact Miley'd left him for me, and moved onto a girl he'd met in the courtroom, they married within a month and were happy from what we'd heard last. Mom came and visited Miley and I in our apartment and we came back to Malibu to visit Robbie Ray and Jackson, who, by the way, wound up finding himself a lady, none other than Sarah, I guess sometimes, second chances really do come around and work afterall. And as for me? Well, I proposed to Miley on our six month anniversary, and she said yes! We'll be going back to California for the wedding around December, seeing that its legalized there. I stopped smoking and I've limited my drinking to mostly just special occassions, although with Miley, every day _is _a special occassion.

**-FIN-**

* * *

**AN:** Well I have to say, I had my doubts at first whether I really wanted to make this chapter, because at first it wasnt working with my whole depression/angsty mood but in the end I figured I owed you guys a better shot for my lack of updates. Please leave me your reviews and tell me how you think I did, I always enjoy feedback!! -LJBard


	7. For The Reviewers!

Hey guys, this is a random note for all of you who have reviewed the story, i just wanted to say THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!! If you've paid any attention to my little side-notes for the story you've all been able to tell that I really poured a lot of my soul into this peice and ya'll have only made it better by giving me more reviews than any other story i've written in such a short amount of time, so once again my gratitude is immense and i cannot express words of thanks to show how much ive appreciated each and every one of you. i hope that each of you continue to review and enjoy my work. This shout-out is made for everyone, no matter if you've reviewed this story, or any of my other stories, you all rock my world!

-LJBard


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